I don't know if it was because this dance we learned did not have any spins which if done to often in one class can make me dizzy or get vertigo, but somehow in hip hop dance class today "I felt it" and I just went for it. a guy i know formally in class told me this week, "I saw you dancing out there!" and last week he told me, "I see you dancing in class you are pretty good at it" If someone else can see the joy and love and energy I bring into my hip hop dancing I do and and I myself am into the movements or the dancing and "feel alive and sensational and in the moment and happy thinking about good things like winning over a girl without thinking of any one girl I admire and have a crush on in particular while dancing."
Kind of like in Karate classes that I took as a teenager or young adult where I thought about hitting my bullies in the face or chest with each and every kick and punch combination we were practicing in the air against an invisible opponent who I fantasized I was finally getting revenge on for harassing and bullying me around all the time.
So today in hip hop dancing class I think I had my best class of dancing ability ever and I was not even thinking about Miniature horses, Savannah cats, my dream house and horse ranch property and not even dancing for the woman of my dreams who if she saw me could see my dancing for her as a sign of love and affection through movement meant as a compliment for her from me...Not today, no sir! Just dancing with high energy because I wanted to feel it and put myself into it and become part of the dancing and the music and not have any self conscious reservations or beat myself up in any way about anything in class that I messed up on a dance move or two or if I brought my near constant fears worries and concerns about girls and school homework with me into dancing class